And Now, The Gnus.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

A steel-drum rendition of a typical nightly news theme can be heard - a familiar antennaed silhouette sits behind a desk, holding a stack of papers. As the lights come up, the three-piece suit and bad toupee are revealed.

"Good evening. Our top story tonight - famed comic book writer Mark Millar has been killed in the Marvel Universe, causing a spontaneous outpouring of joy amongst the heroes of that world. When asked to comment on the seemingly out-of-character celebration of a human being's death, several sources simply shrugged and said that it made for 'a better story.' More on that as it develops."

He looks to his co-anchor, a familiar mute kewpie doll in a red superhero jumpsuit - ALSO wearing a bad toupee. "I'm Ambush Bug, and this is my co-anchor, Cheeks. Welcome to WTDC Channel 5 News. Other hard-hitting stories, sports, and weather, all coming up next. Stay tuned."

Comments

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"One of the hot topics that have arisen recently is .."

The graphic behind him has changed to display Nico Minoru, of the Runaways.

".. not that kind of Hot Topic. Oh. Oh! Wait, that might be the right graphic. A recent topic of discussion is underage heroes. Teenage vigilantes. Barely post-adolescent bullet shields. Er.. sidekicks."

"I did some man-on-the-street interviews, asking folks what they thought about minors running around and fighting crime - here's what they had to say."

[bouncywarrior.livejournal.com]

"Erm, interview? About underage superheroing? I'm completely for it. Heck I used to do it myself, and now I don't cause I'm 18 so now it's not underage superheroing anymore, but uh...
Yeah, I have no idea where I was going with that either. Who the hell are you anyways?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"The name's Irwin, but most folks call me Ambush Bug! Or sometimes 'Hey, you!' So you don't think it's a little dangerous out there for the kids? Should there be a minimum age to be a hero?"

[bouncywarrior.livejournal.com]

"Not really. I think it really should depend more on what powers the person has. Like someone who doesn't have powers shouldn't be running around in tights at 14, but someone with invulnerability can."

[kilowog.livejournal.com]

"You're really gonna tell someone they're not old enough to do good things? What the hell kinda reasoning is that, poozer?

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"You make a very good point. But where do we draw the line? And what with?"

[kilowog.livejournal.com]

"You tellin' me we need to put a limit on good samaritans? Ya done too much good, time to go push an old lady down a flight o' stairs?"

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

"Probably takes better guidance than most of them get, I suspect. There's a lot of trouble out there- and putting a teenaged kid right in the front line? That can just be asking for trouble, if you don't pay attention to what you're doing."
Something amuses Nightwing about the question, for some reason. It is a mystery.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Well, of course, the outline's a little fuzzier if we're talking about an actual sidekick type, under direct supervision of an adult vigilante. Like Cheeks, here."

He holds up the kewpie doll.

"So you wouldn't recommend regulating it via law?"

[la-belette.livejournal.com]

"...Isn't talking about underage girls in spandex against the law now?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Only if they're fighting crime, I think. So what's your opinion?"

[redlyreflecting.livejournal.com]

"Kinda crazy, innit? Sometimes, man, I think, what is that about, like, who do they think they are? Sometimes a guy can be engaged in perfectly legal situations, you know what I'm sayin, and it just all looks shady but that's life! -- Hey, check me, Mandy, I'm on TV!"
Alvin might not, in fact, know what he's saying.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

Ambush Bug nods sagely. "Truer words.."

"Er, I mean.. word up, my homey?"

Ambush Bug is down with the 'street', as it were.

[hiddenbeasts.livejournal.com]

"Ah? Underage superheroes? I think it all depends on the circumstances. If they are a part of a superhero family or a professional group, I think they should be fine. I myself am kinda wary about the sidekick thing though."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Well, heck - being a sidekick never hurt Cheeks, here. 'Cept for the time he died and I had to go fix that. But I did fix it."

"What kind of professional group do you mean?"

[thefireofasaint.livejournal.com]

"Huh. Guess it's better than joining a cult-like terrorist organization with highly prejudiced ideals. You probably get to pick your own clothes..."

Is there an echo out here? Probably just a crappy typist.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Most of the time. Any color of spandex you want!"

[notsmart.livejournal.com]

"L-Ron, make this annoying guy with the microphone go away, will you?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Why, it's Max Lord! Super-businessman behind an incarnation of the Justice League! How are you, Maxie? How come you never called me to join the League?"

[cap-a.livejournal.com]

The man seems to hold it together briefly... then his chin begins to wibble.

Then he begins to bawl.

"BUUUUUUUCCKYYYYYYY!!!!!" He grasps Ambush Bug and begins to sob.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Aww.. there, there, Cap. It's okay. I mean, he mighta survived, you know. Blown up by the missile, covered in third degree burns, crawling across the arctic ice.."

[andbrainstoo.livejournal.com]

"Well, statistically, while a teenage superhero might not have the training or experience of his or her older equivalent, so much of the superheroism business comes down to judgment, sheer power, or pure dumb luck that I don't see why it's a problem."

The camera is focused six inches below Caitlin's face.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Hey, Film Freak, lift the camera up, would you? We're not doing a Babes Gone Crazy video here."

[sexy-huntress.livejournal.com]

"Get that damned thing out of my face."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Okay, Okay! Sheesh. You don't wanna talk about underage vigilantes, fine. What about the mafia?"