And Now, The Gnus.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

A steel-drum rendition of a typical nightly news theme can be heard - a familiar antennaed silhouette sits behind a desk, holding a stack of papers. As the lights come up, the three-piece suit and bad toupee are revealed.

"Good evening. Our top story tonight - famed comic book writer Mark Millar has been killed in the Marvel Universe, causing a spontaneous outpouring of joy amongst the heroes of that world. When asked to comment on the seemingly out-of-character celebration of a human being's death, several sources simply shrugged and said that it made for 'a better story.' More on that as it develops."

He looks to his co-anchor, a familiar mute kewpie doll in a red superhero jumpsuit - ALSO wearing a bad toupee. "I'm Ambush Bug, and this is my co-anchor, Cheeks. Welcome to WTDC Channel 5 News. Other hard-hitting stories, sports, and weather, all coming up next. Stay tuned."

Comments

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"What about a toddler with a bulletproof jumper, and a super-sneeze power?"

[bouncywarrior.livejournal.com]

"One, that's just silly, and yes, okay, toddlers shouldn't be getting into the biz. But the only heros I've heard of that got powers before puberty was Power Pack, and that was kind of a weird case. Personally, what I think should happen, aside from checking what kind of powers people have, is instead of banning all heros under 18, have someone mentor them."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Mentors are good. I can just see it now - young kid stops a mugger, smiles at the camera, holds up a roll of Mentors.."

[bouncywarrior.livejournal.com]

"What? What are you on man? No, I mean someone teaching them and training them."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I thought you were talking about those candy things. The Freshmaker. Sure, teaching is good. But, hey, Power Pack - you think they're too young for the hero biz?"

[bouncywarrior.livejournal.com]

"When they started out, yeah. Not now though."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"So what shoulda been done? Ground them for two weeks? Ship 'em off to Negztive Zone reform school?"

[bouncywarrior.livejournal.com]

"Dunno. Wouldn'tve gone so far as to send them to reform school though, especially one in the Negative Zone."