Ambush Bug Presents #5

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

(Music Cue : "Have a Holly-Jolly Christmas")

The stage resembles a large, stylish den in this outing - decorated with all the Christmas trimmings. Stockings are hung by the chimney with care. There's a tree, decorated with metallic orange tinsel. Houngan is there, sitting at a piano.

Standing by the tree is Ambush Bug, in a Fred Rogers-esque outfit, complete with slacks, a sweater, and a toupee. He's sipping a small cup of egg nog as he 'notices' the camera. "Oh, well! Seems our guests have finally arrived. Hello, folks, and welcome to the Ambush Bug Christmas Special Extravaganzapalooza. Now also serving Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, to the best of our limited ability to understand and properly spell those holidays."

"We have a whole evening of Holiday Fun lined up - some special guests to make you smile, and I may just belt out a rendition of some holiday standard. Later on, I think we'll go to the phones, and maybe we'll even look at some letters to Santa Claus.."

He trails off, looking annoyedly off-camera towards his musical director. "What are you fidgeting about, Houngan?"

Comments

[hail-hydra.livejournal.com]

"Mr. Bug? I've got a problem you might be able to assist with. There's this guy I've got my eye on. We're very compatible, and, well... I'm no size queen, but I'll just say he's got a very large part of his anatomy. I've tried putting on makeup -- I've tried overthrowing his criminal empire -- nothing I do seems to get his attention. Any ideas?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"A nice Christmas gift tailored to his tastes is a good ice-breaker - but don't fall into the trap of flattery. The last thing you want to do is give him a swelled head."

[hail-hydra.livejournal.com]

"Hmmm... so, a small eastern European country, maybe?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"That might do. I've heard that San Marino and Monaco have had some recalls, so you may want to splurge for the Luxembourg."