Awards Extravaganza!

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

A camera pans over a vast audience of super-heroes and super-villains from all walks of live, orchestral fanfare playing all the while, before the camera and the stage lights come to focus on the main forum, and its red velvety curtains.

An announcer's voice booms: "Live, from Bob Kane Memorial Stadium - designed, drawn, and funded by Bill Finger - it's the Second and a Half Annual Ambush Bug Presents Awards Extravaganza!"

The curtains part, giving way to the night's emcee - Ambush Bug, dressed to the nines in a sharp tuxedo. A sharp, orange tuxedo.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Ambush Bug Awards - the Schwabbies, as they are popularly known. This is our second and a half annual ceremony, and I hope we can continue the fine tradition of dignity and aplomb that we have maintained all these years. But - what's this?"

Ambush Bug looks towards the rafters, where there is suddenly a glow.

Comments

Re: Best Western

[jla-forgotten.livejournal.com]

The two men emerge, dressed in their typical native attire.

"Let me make one thing clear." says Scalphunter, reaching the podium.

"No firewater jokes, no wampum jokes, no casino gambling. I won't do it. No way. No How."

He winces, realizing what he just said.

"That was the teleprompter's fault."

Re: Best Western

[jla-extras.livejournal.com]

Manitou Raven leans into the microphone.

"Don't you folks believe it. He wrote that one himself. How about we go straight on to the nominees?"

"First, there's the John Wayne classic, True Grit. Wayne won his only Oscar for his performance of an aging cowboy."

Re: Best Western

[jla-forgotten.livejournal.com]

"I'm not really a fan of John Wayne. But he's all over this category tonight. Next up, we have the Searchers - another Wayne classic. Why is nobody in these movies as well-dressed as Bat Lash?"

Re: Best Western

[jla-extras.livejournal.com]

"Nobody in this audience is as well-dressed as Bat Lash."

The audience rewards him with a peal of laughter, and he continues.

"Third, we have John Wayne, and Jimmy Stewart, in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance."

Re: Best Western

[jla-forgotten.livejournal.com]

"We finally get out of John Wayne territory with the classic High Noon, starring Gary Cooper. One of my personal favorites, and the penultimate nominee tonight."

Re: Best Western

[jla-extras.livejournal.com]

"And our final nominee is Best Western #402, in Peoria, Illinois. A really high-class little motel with free HBO, outdoor pool, and all the amenities."

Manitou Raven takes up the envelope, sliding it open. "Inukchuk! It looks like tonight's winner is Best Western #402, of Peoria, Illinois! Regrettably, the motel could not be here, tonight.. accepting the award on its behalf is night manager, Joseph Quesada."

Re: Best Western

[jla-extras.livejournal.com]

An anxious-looking dark-haired man in a shabby tuxedo makes his way up on stage, taking the tiny gold statue.

"Gosh, I'd like to thank everybody on behalf of the motel. It's moments like this when I know I picked the right career in life. Thanks again!"

He raises the trophy high, to show it off, then wanders off-stage.