And Now, The Gnus.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

A steel-drum rendition of a typical nightly news theme can be heard - a familiar antennaed silhouette sits behind a desk, holding a stack of papers. As the lights come up, the three-piece suit and bad toupee are revealed.

"Good evening. Our top story tonight - famed comic book writer Mark Millar has been killed in the Marvel Universe, causing a spontaneous outpouring of joy amongst the heroes of that world. When asked to comment on the seemingly out-of-character celebration of a human being's death, several sources simply shrugged and said that it made for 'a better story.' More on that as it develops."

He looks to his co-anchor, a familiar mute kewpie doll in a red superhero jumpsuit - ALSO wearing a bad toupee. "I'm Ambush Bug, and this is my co-anchor, Cheeks. Welcome to WTDC Channel 5 News. Other hard-hitting stories, sports, and weather, all coming up next. Stay tuned."

Comments

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"In other new, celebrity couple MODOK and MODAM have apparently split again, citing irreconcilable similarities. Ironically, according to one rumor magazine, it has been suggested that MODOK left MODAM because she wouldn't give him h-.."

Ambush Bug looks off camera. "Ah, apparently, standards and practices wants me to wait on that story. More at 11."

He shuffles the pile of papers in his hands.

"And now, for a peek at Sports, we head over to sports correspondent, the Sportsmaster!"

[jla-villains.livejournal.com]

"Och, halloo, Master Bug! This be the Sportsmaster.."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"We already did the accent gag, Sportsmaster. I'd let it slide if you were covering soccer.. You're not Scottish, you're from Des Moines."

[jla-villains.livejournal.com]

"Sure, spoil all my fun.."

"Well, I'm down here in Gotham, at the home of the Gotham Knights, and it looks like the Knights are in good shape this year. They're sporting all new deluxe equipment, too - where do they get those wonderful toys?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Given Gotham's mortality rate, I expect it's a memorial fund of some kind."

[jla-villains.livejournal.com]

"You're probably right. Still, with all this shiny equipment.. and a team with such potential - I'm somewhat tempted to pull off one of my signature heists. You know, steal the whole stadium.."

Sportsmaster mutters under his breath, trailing off.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Well, I understand you do lead the league in steals."

Forced laughter.

"While our sports anchor recovers his composure, let's check in with weather, shall we?"

[jla-villains.livejournal.com]

"Temperatures will remain warm and mild through the day, and slightly cool overnight. Then, tomorrow, there's a 90 percent chance of rain and larceny!"

The Weather Wizard laughs diabolically.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Are we running some kind of rehab program here? Why the heck is everyone who works on this show, besides me, a super-villain?"

[jla-villains.livejournal.com]

He stops laughing.

"Well, we're a FOX affiliate."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

A beat.

"Okay, you have a good point there. What's the five-day forecast?"

[jla-villains.livejournal.com]

"High humidity will give us plenty to sweat about, and occasional thunderstorms. And on Saturday, Keystone City has a 100% chance of a blizzard. You hear that, Flash?"

Thunder rumbles in the studio.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"... Yyyyeah, I think that's about enough. You couldn't be like Al Roker, could you? He's so jolly. Very seldom robs banks, as I understand. Though he did used to look like Flash's pal, Chunk. Hm. Weird."