And Now, The Gnus.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

A steel-drum rendition of a typical nightly news theme can be heard - a familiar antennaed silhouette sits behind a desk, holding a stack of papers. As the lights come up, the three-piece suit and bad toupee are revealed.

"Good evening. Our top story tonight - famed comic book writer Mark Millar has been killed in the Marvel Universe, causing a spontaneous outpouring of joy amongst the heroes of that world. When asked to comment on the seemingly out-of-character celebration of a human being's death, several sources simply shrugged and said that it made for 'a better story.' More on that as it develops."

He looks to his co-anchor, a familiar mute kewpie doll in a red superhero jumpsuit - ALSO wearing a bad toupee. "I'm Ambush Bug, and this is my co-anchor, Cheeks. Welcome to WTDC Channel 5 News. Other hard-hitting stories, sports, and weather, all coming up next. Stay tuned."

Comments

[bouncywarrior.livejournal.com]

"One, that's just silly, and yes, okay, toddlers shouldn't be getting into the biz. But the only heros I've heard of that got powers before puberty was Power Pack, and that was kind of a weird case. Personally, what I think should happen, aside from checking what kind of powers people have, is instead of banning all heros under 18, have someone mentor them."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Mentors are good. I can just see it now - young kid stops a mugger, smiles at the camera, holds up a roll of Mentors.."

[bouncywarrior.livejournal.com]

"What? What are you on man? No, I mean someone teaching them and training them."

[kilowog.livejournal.com]

"You tellin' me we need to put a limit on good samaritans? Ya done too much good, time to go push an old lady down a flight o' stairs?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"No, I mean, like - five year olds tackling the Joker? I mean, sure, it'd be funny, but - when does the risk get unreasonable?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I thought you were talking about those candy things. The Freshmaker. Sure, teaching is good. But, hey, Power Pack - you think they're too young for the hero biz?"

[bouncywarrior.livejournal.com]

"When they started out, yeah. Not now though."

[kilowog.livejournal.com]

"C'mon now, poozer. Your voice hasn't cracked yet, stick to helpin' old ladies across the street. You start fuzzin' up, think about the big leagues."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"So what shoulda been done? Ground them for two weeks? Ship 'em off to Negztive Zone reform school?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Makes sense to me. How do you regulate it, though, if at all?"

[bouncywarrior.livejournal.com]

"Dunno. Wouldn'tve gone so far as to send them to reform school though, especially one in the Negative Zone."

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

"Probably takes better guidance than most of them get, I suspect. There's a lot of trouble out there- and putting a teenaged kid right in the front line? That can just be asking for trouble, if you don't pay attention to what you're doing."
Something amuses Nightwing about the question, for some reason. It is a mystery.

[la-belette.livejournal.com]

"...Isn't talking about underage girls in spandex against the law now?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Well, of course, the outline's a little fuzzier if we're talking about an actual sidekick type, under direct supervision of an adult vigilante. Like Cheeks, here."

He holds up the kewpie doll.

"So you wouldn't recommend regulating it via law?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Only if they're fighting crime, I think. So what's your opinion?"

[redlyreflecting.livejournal.com]

"Kinda crazy, innit? Sometimes, man, I think, what is that about, like, who do they think they are? Sometimes a guy can be engaged in perfectly legal situations, you know what I'm sayin, and it just all looks shady but that's life! -- Hey, check me, Mandy, I'm on TV!"
Alvin might not, in fact, know what he's saying.

[la-belette.livejournal.com]

"Hey, vigilantes are already outside the law. Like making regulations are gonna make any of the spandex set stop, even if they are barely old enough to get a learner's permit. Way I figure it is, if they have cash in hand? Yeah, they can have their very own Mr. Smiley."

[hiddenbeasts.livejournal.com]

"Ah? Underage superheroes? I think it all depends on the circumstances. If they are a part of a superhero family or a professional group, I think they should be fine. I myself am kinda wary about the sidekick thing though."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

Ambush Bug is momentarily perplexed.

"Mr. Smiley?"

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

"Hi, Cheeks." A little grin for the kewpie.
"Uhm... well, I think legal regulation wouldn't be a bad idea- but it'd be foolish to try to use just the same laws that govern ordinary child endangerment. Uh... well, let's take Batman, since there's someone I know. The second Robin, he would've gotten... Jeez, I'm arguing against myself in my head, here. Let me try that again kids are going to get involved in this kind of stuff- and when they do, it's better there's a strong adult role model to keep them out of trouble. The law can't stand in for that adult authority figure."

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

Ambush Bug nods sagely. "Truer words.."

"Er, I mean.. word up, my homey?"

Ambush Bug is down with the 'street', as it were.

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Well, heck - being a sidekick never hurt Cheeks, here. 'Cept for the time he died and I had to go fix that. But I did fix it."

"What kind of professional group do you mean?"

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

"Of course, there's a fine line between protecting a kid who's gonna vigilante-up anyway, and encouraging one who might've called it quits. Hard to make that distinction, I guess."

[dickgrayson.livejournal.com]

"'Vigilante-up', that's a good way to put it. It's a definite distinction- and the problem is, the kids who are in it for the kicks, because it's not something they get at home, or because of the thrill of the chase and all that- they're the ones who need the supervision the most. But the question becomes how to tell them apart from the ones who are in it for doing the job, doesn't it? I... don't really have a thought on how to do that."
No no, he's not thinking about Jason Todd at all.

[hiddenbeasts.livejournal.com]

"Oh, ya know, like the Titans, or Justice League. The Titans have some pretty nice Alumni. They've always been able to help me out."