Ambush Bug Presents #3

[the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com]

The music begins to play. The lights come up, revealing a stage, backed by red curtains.

From offstage, a booming voice announces. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it's that time again - it's Ambush Bug Presents, with your host, Ambush Bug! And now, Heeeeeeeeere's Buggy!"


Ambush Bug emerges from the curtains, wearing a blazer and trousers over the usual green suit, and does a little golf-swing.

As the applause from the studio audience dies down, he speaks. "Thanks, Ed. And remember to lay off the beer before the Clydesdales start looking attractive." Canned Laughter.

His hands in his pockets, he rocks back and forth on his feet a little, mimicking Carson's mannerisms. "Looks like a great audience tonight. Surprised to see so many of you turn out this evening, since it was so hot in Los Angeles today."

He pauses.

After a long, awkward moment, a stagehand yells from offstage. "How hot was it?"

He gives the stagehand a little grin and nod of thanks. "It was so hot, I saw Fire wearing Ice!"

A chorus of boos.

"Aw, c'mon, I thought you guys liked a little lesbian humor. Good thing I changed the joke, originally I was going to say 'licking!'"

He waits for the audience to calm down. "We've got a great show for you tonight - our little salute to the 1980's, and the premiere super-teens of that era, the Teen Titans! If you happen to notice your TV options suddenly narrowing down, forcing you to watch our program, don't worry. That's just the Crisis on Infinite Channels."

"And if you don't like the result, we can get Superboy to punch the schedule and see what shakes loose."

"Before we move along, I'd like to introduce my new bandleader, all the way from Jamaica, it's Houngan!"