Ambush Bug Presents :
Mar. 24th, 2006 08:40 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
the-ambush-bug.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
watchtower_fansThe lights roll down onto a somber, almost Masterpiece-Theatre-like stage. Seated in a comfy-looking chair in the center is Ambush Bug, dressed like Hugh Hefner, perusing a copy of Who's Who in the DC Universe, and puffing on a bubble pipe. Pretending to have just noticed the camera, he sets the book aside and begins to speak.
"Mmah, guv edening.."
He pauses, taking the pipe from his lips, and taps it out in a nearby ashtray.
"Ahem. Ah, good evening. So glad you could join us. Come on in, sit a spell. Take your shoes off. Ya'll come back now, y'hear?"
He folds his hands on his lap. "I'm here, with the assistance of the good folks at the Pubic Broadcasting System.. eh?" He looks off-camera, exchanging whispered words with a stagehand. "Er, Public Broadcasting System, yes." He inhales. "Anyways, we're here as a sort of informative forum, to catch you all up on news of the day, discuss topics of interest, and things like that."
"First, I'd like to point out, that in a recent discussion between messers Nightwing and the Flash.. Flash III, Nightwing 0, for those keeping score.. that it was revealed that Miss Jesse Quick and Miss Flamebird got bi-zay." He pauses for effect. "I'd just like to add - that's totally freakin' hot!" He adjusts the collar of the smoking jacket he wears. "But, one wonders - how'd they sort out their costumes after? It'd be like a sea of red and gold. Heck, if you threw Mary Marvel in the mix.." He just sort of trails off right there, staring off into space..
Soembody stage-whispers 'You're on the air, you moron!'
"Hm? Oh, right.. right. I just got that image in my head, and Shazam!"
A chorus of groans goes up from the studio audience.
"Anyway, this segues nicely into my next point. How the devil do people who work at Arkham Asylum get affordable insurance rates? I mean, really. And how do they convince interns to work there?"
He eases back into the chair. "I think we'll open up the phone lines now, and see if we have any callers. That's : 555-DC4U."
"Mmah, guv edening.."
He pauses, taking the pipe from his lips, and taps it out in a nearby ashtray.
"Ahem. Ah, good evening. So glad you could join us. Come on in, sit a spell. Take your shoes off. Ya'll come back now, y'hear?"
He folds his hands on his lap. "I'm here, with the assistance of the good folks at the Pubic Broadcasting System.. eh?" He looks off-camera, exchanging whispered words with a stagehand. "Er, Public Broadcasting System, yes." He inhales. "Anyways, we're here as a sort of informative forum, to catch you all up on news of the day, discuss topics of interest, and things like that."
"First, I'd like to point out, that in a recent discussion between messers Nightwing and the Flash.. Flash III, Nightwing 0, for those keeping score.. that it was revealed that Miss Jesse Quick and Miss Flamebird got bi-zay." He pauses for effect. "I'd just like to add - that's totally freakin' hot!" He adjusts the collar of the smoking jacket he wears. "But, one wonders - how'd they sort out their costumes after? It'd be like a sea of red and gold. Heck, if you threw Mary Marvel in the mix.." He just sort of trails off right there, staring off into space..
Soembody stage-whispers 'You're on the air, you moron!'
"Hm? Oh, right.. right. I just got that image in my head, and Shazam!"
A chorus of groans goes up from the studio audience.
"Anyway, this segues nicely into my next point. How the devil do people who work at Arkham Asylum get affordable insurance rates? I mean, really. And how do they convince interns to work there?"
He eases back into the chair. "I think we'll open up the phone lines now, and see if we have any callers. That's : 555-DC4U."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:26 am (UTC)He leans forward, towards the camera. "My next question is this : President Luthor - better with red hair, or without?" He holds up side by side pictures of Luthor - one bald, one with the red curls and beard he briefly sported.
"Personally, I think he looks like an Irish Abraham Lincoln."
no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:30 am (UTC)"Well, we'll be right back after these commercial messages - play us out, Cheeks!"
The camera pans over to Ambush Bug's bandleader..
no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:35 am (UTC)He nods thoughtfully. "And it's a good question too. The term 'Bi-Zay' dates back to Ancient Philadelphia, to Benjamin Franklin. A great inventor, that man, it's a little-known fact that he was also the father of ebonics."
He leans forward, conspiratorially. "It came to pass one day that old Benjy was needed at the Continental Congress, but he was otherwise preoccupied, and shouted at the messenger boy outside his door, 'I'm Bi-zay!'"
The Bug nods sagely. "It's because of a little escapade of his while driving a horsedrawn carriage that we derive the phrase, 'Get your swerve on' as well."
no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:36 am (UTC)"I do not think you are being honest with me."
no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:45 am (UTC)He nods, as he reasons this out. "That only leaves Benjamin Franklin, and George Washington Carver. Now, I'm no Batman, but I know who's the more likely suspect there.."
He's honest, he's just insane.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:50 am (UTC)He clears his throat. "In any case, I think I'm going to have to wrap this call. For more information on Benjamin Franklin and his plethora of inventions, check your local library!"
no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:52 am (UTC)He signals Cheeks for a drum-sting, that never comes.
"Been meaning to ask you, capital Q - which Question are you? "
no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:56 am (UTC)Sometimes, the things he says only make sense to him.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:58 am (UTC)He thinks a moment.
"Maybe better to just use the mail, I can send one of the copies along shortly. Thanks!"
no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 02:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 03:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-25 03:07 am (UTC)He seems a little agitated by capital Q.